Absolutely Not

de Dear Media

Episodios

Patient Portal

por Dear Media

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather gets a lil pep-in-her-step after realizing she might in-fact qualify for the Olympics. After hitting the Voicemail hot line, she finds out someone got their vagina scratch by a house cat and lube is on lock-up at da Walmarts. That and more! 

 

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order and free shipping in the US. 

 

Get 10% off for first time users when you shop at versedskin.com with promo code Absolutely

 

Birch is giving 200 dollars off ALL mattresses and 2 free eco-rest pillows at BirchLiving.com/absolutely

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Spanky's Retreat with the GA Law Lady!

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is sitting down with her attorney & sister, Ashley McMahan. They are catching up on the wild weekend's they both had. With sandy toes, full drinks and love in their hearts the girls hatch a plan to send their mother off for a sanity check so they can focus on their new shark tank idea.

 

Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely.

 

To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY.

 

Go to WithAgency.com/absolutelynot for a free 30-day trial, just pay $4.95 for shipping and handling!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Mild Anesthesia

por Dear Media

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather is literally coming out of the operating room and recording this whole podcast honestly, kinda high. No days off for this SHEMPIRE! lolzzz jk dont quote me. She is tackling your biggest absolutely not's yet, one voicemail at a time. 

 

Get started right away with no shipping required by going to StoryWorth.com/absolutely. You’ll get $10 off your first purchase!

 

You can try OSEA risk-free for 30 days and get free shipping on orders over $50. They even send free samples with every order! And get 10% off your first order with my promo code ABSOLUTELY at OSEAmalibu.com.

 

Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Im Going To Flawida

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is on a downward spiral from injecting hormones like a Kardashian getting a BBL. When she is inspired by a caller to get in touch with her Floridian roots it sparks joy in her heart and inspires her to quit everything and become a DJ in Fort Myers. 

 

To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show.

 

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order! 

 

Get Honey for FREE at JoinHoney.com/ABSOLUTELY

 

Produced by Dear Media.

Tool Belt of Responsibilities

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is sweating through her linen short set, anxiously awaiting her second round of egg freezing & stresses AF about work. She is keeping herself chained to a radiator in the basement and needs someone to come bring her a self-care snack. Y'all don't seem to be doing much better by the sounds of these voicemails.....

 

Get key nutrients–without the B.S. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your Ritual today.

 

Birch is giving 200 dollars off ALL mattresses and 2 free eco-rest pillows at BirchLiving.com/absolutely

 

To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY. Must be 21+.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Island Lyfe Featuring Surprise Guest, Chris Ketner

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather recaps her girls weekend that felt like camp on a secret island. She has returned, sunburned, raspy and puffier than ever. Just as she is getting into the real meat of what happened this weekend, Chris Ketner jumps in the studio for an update on life in NYC and when is the tour happening.. and just wait, he's a vegan and wont shut up about it! 

 

Go to WithAgency.com/absolutelynot for a free 30-day trial, just pay $4.95 for shipping and handling!

 

Go to Prose.com/absolutely for your FREE in-depth hair quiz and 15% off.

 

Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Low Hanging Fruit with Jackie Schimmel, Host of The Bitch Bible

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has friend and fellow bitchy podcaster, Jackie Schimmel in the house, literally, she's at Robin's. She brought her intern, Jennifer Lopez with her, fresh off the A-rod breakup. Its a wild ride and not to be missed!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Who Died?

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is breaking down her medical blunders and asking y'all why the hell you're living with regret. We are Live Laugh Loving our way through the Absolutely not line, and man are these voicemails good!

Get key nutrients–without the B.S. Ritual is offering  listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your Ritual today.

 

 

To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show. 

 

To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY

 

Produced by Dear Media

 

Lil Sheeba

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather updates you on her doozie of a medical issue and realizes that she isn't the "pillar of the fertility community" she thought she was. She is sweaty, hungry, pissed off and now more than ever just straight up confused. 

 

Go to GreenChef.com/90absolutely and use code 90absolutely to get $90 off including free shipping!

 

Get Honey for FREE at JoinHoney.com/ABSOLUTELY

 

Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Pack of Skanks

por Dear Media

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather is talking about civilian chemistry and mixed signals from her stallion. She is spiraling from the human growth hormone and trying to understand why everyone is being the worst and why no one buys her more gifts? Right. Ok. cool. 

 

Get started today at StitchFix.com/absolutely and you’ll get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix!

 

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order! 

 

Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars today by going to gomacro.com and using promo code absolutely for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $50!

 

To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY

 

 Produced by Dear Media

Pu$$Y Poppin

por Dear Media

On this episode Heather breaks down one of her most embarrassing moments from this past weekend at the airport and explains why no one knows how to behave themselves. We're all wildly socially awkward and no one knows how to behave anymore. 

 

To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/absolutely.

 

Give your mom the most meaningful gift this Mother’s Day with StoryWorth. Get started right away with no shipping required by going to StoryWorth.com/absolutely. You’ll get $10 off your first purchase!

 

Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Raymond Padilla Wellness Check

por Dear Media

Heather catches up with friend and OG podcast guest Raymond Padilla! They discuss Ray's recent move to New York (spoiler: its been a bumpy ride) and how he is living his "gay ass truth".

 

Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 percent OFF your order!

 

Treat yourself to ultimate comfort with Brooklinen’s comforter collection. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $25 off, with a minimum purchase of $100!

 

As a listener of this podcast, you’ll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Take That Trish!

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather claps back at herself bc the hormones are making her feel like a genetically modified chicken tender with a side of sassy dont-give-a-F#ck ranch. She takes your voicemails and realizes y'all are pretty much in the same boat. Love and Light! 

 

Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 percent OFF your order.

 

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% OFF your order

 

Get started today at StitchFix.com/absolutely and you’ll get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix!

 

Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars today by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ​absolutely​ for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $50!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Pregnant Pirates Meet Olivia Benson

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather Breaks down her recent surprise in the Turks and all the trouble she stirred up in Charleston. There was leather, edibles, bootcut jeans and lots of questions. She also hits the hotline and tries to fix your problems one drunken message at a time. 
 
 

Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely.

 

For a limited time, Spanx is offering Absolutely Not listeners 10% off their order on Spanx.com!

 

To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Hollywood Tower of Terror

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with herself in a downward spiral about this dumbest shit ever, per usual. It's her birthday and she is reporting live from the Turks and Caicos. RIGHT BY THE BEACH BOIIII. She is full of gratitude and rosé and a slight flicker of positivity. 
 
 
Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 percent off! 
 
 

Head  over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order! 

 

Go to FunctionofBeauty.com/​absolutely​ to take your quiz and save 20% on your first order.

 

Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $25 off, with a minimum purchase of $100.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Spilling the English Breakfast Tea

por Dear Media

Heather's long time friend and fellow thespian extraordinaire, Tina T, is in town and the ladies are spilling the literal HIGH TEA on their weekend debauchery and breaking down the riveting Oprah interview. Heather is wildly concerned the Monarchy is coming for her so buckle up and get your beverages set! 

 

Go to DRINKOLIPOP.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout for 20% off PLUS free shipping! 

 

To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show.

 

Get started today at StitchFix.com/absolutely and you’ll get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

ET, TU BRUTE?

por Dear Media

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather is stepping in her pisces self-loathing season and realizing her physical well being is important but also almost impossible to keep up with. Her pants are tight, her skin is dry and vagina is gaping. Lots of Voicemails and self-indulgent things to discuss!

 

Receive 25% off ​your entire first purchase of Super Coffee. To claim this deal go to DRINKSUPERCOFFEE.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ​ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout.

 

Treat yourself to ultimate comfort with Brooklinen’s comforter collection. Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $25 off, with a minimum purchase of $100.

 

Upgrade your hard seltzer to Vizzy. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY. 

 

Produced by Dear Media.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Wind Breaker

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather checks in on her friends down in the hill country and has some major Absolutely Nots. She isn’t fucking around with weather shaming, COVID shaming or grandma shaming. ITS ENOUGH. She's also getting back into the swing of things, quite literally, playing Golf again and thrilled she made some new friends on the links. That and more! 

 

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order.

 

Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely

 

Go check out Usual Wines at www.usualwines.com - use my discount code “ABSOLUTELY” for $8 off your first order and try your first glass on us!

 

Get key nutrients–without the B.S. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your Ritual today.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Shout Out To Maurice with Jeff Daniels AKA The Italian Stallion

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews her husband, Jeff Daniels on all things love and marriage. It's Valentine's week and who better to answer your relationship questions than Tony Soprano himself. 

 

Receive 20% off PLUS Free Shipping​ on Olipop's best selling variety pack. This is a great way to try all of their delicious flavors. Go to DRINKOLIPOP.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout to claim this deal.

 

Go to FunctionofBeauty.com/​absolutely​ to take your quiz and save 20% on your first order.

 

Go to DRINKSUPERCOFFEE.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ​ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout for 25% off your order!

 

Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 % OFF your order!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Reach for the Stars

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is about to lose her shit with EVERYONE and clearly y'all are on the same wavelength. The voicemail  line is buzzing with bullshit and Heather is here to help you wade through it. 

 

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order and free shipping in the US.

 

Order the new Bomb Bars online at www.blenderbombs.com and receive 20% off your order by using the code ABSOLUTELY.

 

To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show.

 

Produced by Dear Media.

LEFT BEHIND

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather Breaks down what's been happening these past two weeks. It's a RAW AND REAL episode full of zero medical advice, lots of sweating and saying the F* word as many times as humanly possible. If you hate honesty, keep scrolling.
 
 

Check out Olipop and receive 20% off PLUS Free Shipping​ on their best selling variety pack. Go to DRINKOLIPOP.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout to claim this deal.

 

Go check out their website at www.usualwines.com and use my discount code “ABSOLUTELY” for $8 off your first order and try your first glass on us!

 

Receive 25% off ​your entire first purchase or Super Coffee. To claim this deal go to DRINKSUPERCOFFEE.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ​ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout.

 

Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off! 

 

Get key nutrients–without the B.S. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your Ritual today.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Wellness Check: How YOU doin?!

por Dear Media

Ask and you shall receive! This week, Heather is responding to YOUR voicemails on the Absolutely Not Line. Buckle up, hunker down and get ready to laugh your tush off! 

 

Check out Olipop and get 20% off PLUS Free Shipping​ on their best selling variety pack. This is a great way to try all of their delicious flavors. Go to DRINKOLIPOP.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout to claim this deal.

 

For a limited time, Spanx is offering Absolutely Not listeners 10% off their order on spanx.com. Use the code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.

 

Make your home healthier this new year. For a limited time, when my listeners go to Grove.co/ABSOLUTELY you will get a FREE Mrs. Meyer’s gift set plus free shipping with your first order - a $30 value!

 

Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 percent OFF your order of WOO Vibez today.

 

Produced by Dear Media

Half Owl with Ashley McMahan

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is chatting with her sister, the GA Law Lady about vax'n their mom, basic childhood trauma and finding their inner animal. Ashley is pissed her episode got basically erased last time they recorded so she is coming in extra hot with that fiery attorney energy. This episode is honestly so sisterly silly, so good to luck to ya. 

 

Go to DRINKSUPERCOFFEE.com/​ABSOLUTELY​ or use code ​ABSOLUTELY ​at checkout for 25% off and free shipping! 

 

To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code ABSOLUTELY to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show.

 

Head over to WOO More Play and use code ABSOLUTELY for 20 percent OFF your order of WOO Vibez today.

 

Go to FunctionofBeauty.com/absolutely to take your quiz and save 20% on your first order.

 

Check out the Palmer's Hemp Oil Skincare Collection. You can find these products In Store and online at Walmart, Target, Walgreens or Amazon.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather spins her New Years Wheels straight to crazy town. She has no fucking idea what is happening in the world and is trying to give you sage advice even though her asshole is clenched tighter than a cocaine smuggler from the 80's. The vibe is tense but the jokes are flowing, we've got voicemails and more! 

 

Go to www.blenderbombs.com and receive 20% off your order by using the code ABSOLUTELY.

 

Go check out  www.usualwines.com and use my discount code “ABSOLUTELY” for $8 off your first order and try your first glass on us!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Supply and Demand with Benito Skinner AKA @bennydrama7

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast Heather sits down with her favorite comedian and BFF Benny Drama to discuss their major glow-ups. Benny is the king of impressions and he gives Heather the in's and outs of who hates him and which Kardashian is on board. lol. He's hilarious and keeps things raw and real! 

 

You deserve to know what’s in your multivitamin. That’s why Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/ABSOLUTELY to start your Ritual today.

 

Make your home healthier this new year. For a limited time, when my listeners go to Grove.co/ABSOLUTELY you will get a FREE Mrs. Meyer’s gift set plus free shipping with your first order - a $30 value!

 

Go to get getcanopy.co today and use code ABSOLUTELY10 for an extra 10% off at checkout. Your skin will thank you!

 

For a limited time ButcherBox is offering new members their Ultimate Keto Bundle for free when you sign up today at ButcherBox.com/absolutely. That’s up to ten pounds of free meat, including one pork butt, 2 lbs of ground beef and 3 lbs of bone-in chicken thighs all in your first box by going to butcherbox.com/absolutely.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Winslet Wellness Check

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is majorly concerned with Kate Winslet's wellbeing and whereabouts. She answers your insane End of the Year Voicemails and has a slight bit of optimism for the new year... just a tiny bit.  

 

Experience The Purple Grid and you’ll sleep like never before! Go to Purple.com/absolutely10, and use promo code absolutely10. For a limited time you’ll get 10% off any order of $200 or more!

 

Go to getcanopy.co today and use code ABSOLUTELY10 for an extra 10% off at checkout. Your skin will thank you!

 

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order and free shipping in the US.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Health, Wellness and Botox with Arielle Lorre

por Dear Media

Heather is joined by Arielle Lorre, host of The Blonde Files Podcast to talk all things self care, motivation, wellness and how she overcame personal challenges to get to where she is today. She is also a plastic surgery and beauty guru and answers every question you could possibly have about keeping it right and tight! 

 

To check out all my Spanx picks and for 10% off your order plus free shipping and returns, visit spanx.com/absolutely.

 

Experience The Purple Grid and you’ll sleep like never before! Go to Purple.com/absolutely10, and use promo code absolutely10. For a limited time you’ll get 10% off any order of $200 or more!

 

Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $50!

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Funeral Arrangements with Jackie Schimmel

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews dear friend, host of The Bitch Bible Podcast and CYA next Tuesday companion, Jackie Schimmel. And trust and believe they are throwing everyone under the bus. 
They have no time for your holiday sympathy but are fully expecting you to show up to their funerals looking FRESH AF! That and more!  
 

Head over to ​www.blenderbombs.com​ ​and use the code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order.

 

Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutely to get 10% off your first order and free shipping.

 

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order and free shipping in the US.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Fried Fridays and Online Dating with guest, Elizabeth Howard

por Dear Media

Heather Sits down with one of her oldest and dearest Delta Gamma sisters, Elizabeth Howard, to discuss the trials and tribulations of online dating with her single sister. SHE IS APPALLED and shocked to find out that men will message you wanting to know about your dental work. NOT OK. They discuss surviving life in college and trying to make it out of 2020 alive! 
 
 Go to Framebridge.com and use promo code to save an additional 15% off your first order.
 

Give your loved ones the gift of spending time together, wherever you live, with StoryWorth. Get started right away with no shipping required by going to StoryWorth.com/absolutely. You’ll get $10 off your first purchase!

 

Get 20% off your order of DHM Detox and free shipping in the US. Just head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Calories Don't Count, RICK

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down the age old question.... "Why exactly does Jeff sleep with tape on his mouth AND still works in New York?" We survived Thanksgiving by the skin on our Turkey Trails and it's clear by the Voicemails that y'all aren't doing so hot either. Someone's lost a leg, others are getting bamboozled.... it's a shit show. That and more!

 

Get 30% off your order and free shipping in the US by heading over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY30 and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY30” at checkout.

 

As a listener of this podcast, you get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. That’s absolutely and talkspace.com.

 

You can find the Palmer's Hemp Oil products In Store and online at Walmart, Target, Walgreens or Amazon.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Has Anyone Seen My Tooth? with Guest Casey Balsham

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews fellow comedian, Casey Balsham of the SHADY SHIT podcast! Casey is literally looking for her loose tooth while bitching about what a fucking whirlwind of a year its been. From cancelled weddings, trying to get pregnant and generally fatigue these two ding dongs are bitching about it together! 
 

Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTLEY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $50!

 

For a limited time, new members can get 6 free grass-fed, grass-finished steaks when they go to ButcherBox.com/absolutely. 

 

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY30 and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY30” at checkout for 30% off your order plus free shipping! 

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

OASIS GOODTIME EMPORIUM

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is sweating through her shirt dealing with one technological meltdown after another. Sis can't catch a break! I mean what are we even doing anymore? It's almost Thanksgiving, which means everything is just a full blown shit show, but thats ok, because were gonna make it after all..... or after visiting the Oasis, Goodtime Emporium. 

 

To check out all my Spanx picks and for 10% off your order plus free shipping and returns, visit spanx.com/absolutely, and use the code ABSOLUTELY for 10% off today!

 

Experience The Purple Grid and you’ll sleep like never before! Go to Purple.com/absolutely10, and use promo code absolutely10. For a limited time you’ll get 10% off any order of $200 or more!

 

Check out Palmer's New Hemp Oil Collection! You can find these products In Store and online at Walmart, Target, Walgreens or Amazon.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

HEART HEALTHY with guest Christopher Ketner

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her friend, Christopher Ketner on some raw dog topics of how their bullshit threshold is at an all time low. America has spoken and the wild DM's have begun. Heather and Chris make a pact to get "heart healthy" because their pants split while woofing down spinach dip at dinner tonight... they are ready for a lifestyle change.... sort of. 

 

Go to Framebridge.com and use promo code to save an additional 15% off your first order.

 

Go to get getcanopy.co today and use code ABSOLUTELY10 for an extra 10% off at checkout. Your skin will thank you!

 

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order!

 

Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutely to get 10% off your first order and free shipping.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

 

TWO DICKS TOO MANY

por Dear Media

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather shares a cool comedy experience that is literally giving her a will to live. There is a light at the end of this 2020 tunnel, even if it means we will one-day be back in a nightclub, shitting our pants from Red Bull vodkas... A Girl can dream can't she? The Voicemails are WILD this week, and the tensions are running high... but were all in this together.... whether we like it or not. 

 

Go to purple.com/absolutely10 and use promo code ABSOLUTELY10 for 10% off any purchase of $200 or more!

 

Go to getcanopy.co to save $25 on your Canopy purchase today. Even better, there’s a special offer for Absolutely Not listeners! Use code ABSOLUTELY10 at checkout to save an additional 10% off your Canopy purchase.

 

Head to www.blenderbombs.com and use the code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order.

 

You can purchase Palmer's new Hemp Oil products at Walmart, Walgreens & Amazon.

 

Produced by Dear Media. 

Keeping Up with the McMahan's

por Dear Media

Heather sits down with Big Red and the Georgia Law Lady, also known as her mom and sister for a deep dive into internet scammers and the hot mess that is 2020. As usual, Robin is serving all the sass and Ashley is serving all the facts!

 

Thank you to our sponsors:

Spanx - Get 10% off your order at spanx.com/absolutely or use code "absolutely" at checkout.

Go Macro - Get 30% plus free shipping on orders over $50 by going to gomacro.com and using promo code "absolutely" at checkout.

Purple Mattress -Go to Purple.com/absolutely10, and use promo code absolutely10 for 10% off any order or $200 or more. 

Vizzy - To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com. Must be 21+.