Hank Patterson's Outdoor MisAdventures

de Travis Swartz

Episodios

Episode 334 - He Found Himself

por Travis Swartz

This week Kevin and Hank continue their quest to teach you absolutely nothing about absolutely nothing while talking about practically nothing. That nothing includes dirt road etiquette, hair dye advertising and a search party story fit for a feature film. Hambone! Enjoy! 

Episode 333 - Perpetually Unemployed

por Travis Swartz

Aspiring to live in a van down by the river? Here are a few things to consider when designing your conversion van according to a couple half wits (Hank & Kevin) who know absolutely nothing about it. As always, this one promises very little educational value! We promise. Hambone! FlapJacks! Enjoy. 

Episode 332 - Morning Ham

por Travis Swartz

This week Hank is joined by his buddy Jake to talk all about a sneezing issue, the many excuses for not catching fish and superstitions. Hambone! Enjoy.

ReReleasing The Essential Oils

por Travis Swartz

With Hank out fishing and likely not catching and Kevin home sick with a blanket and a shot glass of Nyquil, we've decided to take the week off and share one of our favorite episodes from way back in good ol'. 2020.  If you enjoyed it before, you're sure to enjoy it again.  Fire up the essential oils, here we go!  

Episode 331 - Hobbit LIfe

por Travis Swartz

The intelligence of the common trout, the intelligence of the common fly fisher, living in hobbit holes, the benefits and drawbacks of walnuts and much more nonsense make up this weeks episode. Pop a beverage and enjoy! 

Episode 330 - Feed The Bats Chili

por Travis Swartz

The name says it all! Here's an episode all about bat guano, ghost hunters, terrible restaurants, the Indiana serial pooper and the origins of cooking. Enjoy! 

Episode 329 - Just Add Butter

por Travis Swartz

Here's an episode all about cows attacking beach combers, sun bathing at dairy farms, the health benefits of not doing a Triathalon, befriending chimpanzees and all the things you forgot to remember to take camping.... Enjoy! 

Episode 328 - Weary Traveler Talking And Talking

por Travis Swartz

Hank's back from Alaska, sleep deprived and ready to drone on and on about the beauty of being off the grid and out of your comfort zone. But before all that, a little bit of information and likely misinformation about the history of Alaska becoming a state. Don't take notes, it's likely all wrong. Hambone! Enjoy! 

Episode 327 - Why They Call It Freestyle

por Travis Swartz

It all begins with some super sweet whistling. You're welcome. From there we're onto motivational meme's, the Olympics, swimming and a whole new way to up your fireside cooking game! Hank in there everyone! Enjoy! 

Episode 326 - Ponder The Vastness Of The Universe

por Travis Swartz

This week, Hank and Kevin are talking sharks, smoking toad venom, the importance of skipping school and shoulder season. Enjoy! 

Episode 325 - Being A Good Neighbor

por Travis Swartz

Hank's on his high horse this week sharing his profound thoughts on being a good neighbor, testing meth on trout, lazy alligators and much much more. Thankfully, Kevin's around to keep Hank from going too far off the rails. Enjoy! Be Kind To Others! Hambone! 

Episode 324 - Gator Trappers Wanted

por Travis Swartz

Looking to learn some valuable lessons about the the great outdoors? Keep on scrolling! No learnin' here. Looking to laugh at complete outdoor nonsense? Hit the play button! This week we're talkin' gators, Kevin and the kids pond fishing, a sure way to shut down a water slide reality TV show and much much more. Enjoy! 

Episode 323 - Let Your Meat Rest

por Travis Swartz

The best time of year not to jog, beer belly t-shirts, cooling off in Lake Tahoe, grillin', catching fish, bailing on a bear hunt and more. Enjoy! 

Episode 322 - Are Those Bats Buffy?

por Travis Swartz

The fragile indoorsman returns for an episode all about bringing a dog to breakfast, bears and wolves taking over the world and the most likely animal to kill you in your home state. Enjoy! 

Episode 321 - Diving For Lobster

por Travis Swartz

Among other nonsense and hilarity, this week Hank is talking about harvesting lobsters, keeping an eye out for humpback whales, people watching at the mall, a great place to get inside in West Yellowstone, Newsies the musical and running into a parade on the river. Enjoy! 

Episode 320 - Sperm Whale Vomit

por Travis Swartz

The episode title says it all! Here's a not so deep dive into the worth of whale vomit, when to purchase used outdoor gear, rattle snake anatomy and my sisters shrewd Grand Canyon observations.  ENJOY!   

Episode 319 - Don't Buy Bargain Meat

por Travis Swartz

Here's an episode that's not even an episode.... An episode about not having an episode and more. An episode that explores when not to look for a bargains, mosquito soap drawbacks and the difference between a novel, novella and short story.  Listen twice in case you miss the many profound metaphors. Enjoy!

Episode 318 - Elevate Your Meat

por Travis Swartz

Previously on Hank Patterson's Outdoor MisAdventures, a bunch of randomness. On this weeks episode learn nearly nothing about electric mountain bikes, nothing but the bagel spice, sriracha bbq sauce, how not to catch a mirror carp and more! Enjoy! 

Episode 317 - Better To Be Lucky Than Good

por Travis Swartz

Wild boar gangs in Italy, calculated Beaver attacks in Canada, hippie cicadas high on shrooms... The great outdoors are crazy and this episode is right there with 'em! Enjoy!

Episode 316 - Unicorn Serial Killer

por Travis Swartz

Another step into the weirdness of the great outdoors and the creatures who live there. Sasquatch murder, Mosquitoes saving the rain forest and the etiquette of tipping your guide.  Hambone! Flapjack! Enjoy.

Episode 315 - International Tent Thief

por Travis Swartz

Hank has Alex back on the show this week to discuss a subject she knows very well...  How to pull off the perfect tent heist. Along with tent thievery, they'll be chatting about things not to do with barbecue tongs, rattle snake long tongin' and the best cereal for camping. Enjoy!  

Episode 314 - Mosquitoes Came First

por Travis Swartz

Baby news. Colonoscopy updates. An in depth discussion on the purpose of mosquitoes. Corn fields. Pythons. Wind for the win! Here's an hour of hilarity you do not want to miss! Hambone! Enjoy.

Episode 313 - Bear Suits And Wind

por Travis Swartz

Among other nonsense, Hank & Kevin discuss the benefits of owning a good bear suit, Hank's upcoming colonoscopy, preparing for rain, snow, hot, cold and how wind ruins everything. If you got plans to get outdoors anytime soon, you won't want to miss this or any other episode! Hambone! Get Your Colonoscopy! Enjoy. 

Episode 312 - Don't Pee On The Fire

por Travis Swartz

Here's a nearly full hour of nearly five minutes of useful outdoor advice for anyone heading out camping for the very first time! Grab a pen and a post it note and get ready to take three or four notes. Skunks. Urinating on fires. Turning over in a sleeping bag. Sharp jagged rocks. The likelihood of being surrounded by a wolf pack. And MUCH MORE on this weeks episode. ENJOY! 

Episode 311 - Hank Wasn't Invited

por Travis Swartz

Kevin's amazing week culminates in the purchase of the vehicle of his dreams. An exploration of the dietary habits of the urban crow. Cholesterol. Cargo shorts. The etiquette of letting someone know you went fishing without them. Enjoy! 

Episode 310 - Why Hippos Have Tails

por Travis Swartz

Nature has many beautiful surprises... this is not one of them. Just when we thought we'd hit rock bottom, we find a shovel. This weeks topics include Hippos, working on the river, mini van alternatives and Hank's better than a rooftop tent idea. Hambone! Enjoy! 

Episode 309 - Fragile Indoorsman

por Travis Swartz

Hank is flying solo this week! Kick back and enjoy some deep, not so intellectual, rousing, energetic thoughts on 25 cent Schaeffer Lights, 2 liter bottles of Sunshine Orange Blast Wine Coolers, Rooftop tents, the Taco Bell app, Mini Vans and Kevin's life as a Fragile Indoorsman.  Enjoy! Hambone! 

Episode 308 - Golf Balls And Sport Jackets

por Travis Swartz

Coordinated squirrel attacks, laying around in an MRI machine, smothering steaks, fully loadin' baked taters and a rousing conversation about golf - a sure fire way ruin a perfectly nice day in the outdoors. Fore! Enjoy! 

Episode 307 - PoopHenge

por Travis Swartz

I knew the title, the minute I heard these words uttered on this weeks episode. This week Alex and I are talking safety in the Grand Canyon, where to clean out a barrel, snake charming and much much more. Enjoy! -Hank

Episode 306 - Dig A Deeper Hole

por Travis Swartz

Finally, a Hank Patterson recommended books to read episode! But before we get to the literature, we'll be treated to stories of bears biting butts in outhouses, how to cook spaghetti on a stick and much much more. ENJOY! 

305 - The Heavens Had Thai Food

por Travis Swartz

Here's an episode chock full of sophomoric humor that we should apologize for. Parachuting Beavers, Leeches on your nether regions and a dumpin' of snow all come together to form yet another super awesome episode. Enjoy! 

Episode 304 - Surviving Survivalist

por Travis Swartz

If you plan to get lost in the forest anytime soon, here's an episode full of ideas on how you can stay lost. This won't help you find your way home, but it'll help you enjoy the harrowing experience. Hambone! FlapJack! Compass! Enjoy! 

Episode 303 - Wally The Wolverine

por Travis Swartz

You hear about the rare wolverine in Yellowstone? You're about too. What are some good reasons to cheat at fly fishing? We'll let you know. How can you cheat? We'll let you know that too. Looking to listen to pure nonsense? We got your back. Hambone! Enjoy! 

Episode 302 - Doomsday Preppy

por Travis Swartz

How prepared are you to head for the hills in a moments notice? How ill prepared are your friends? Are you prepped for a week of camping, a day of fishing, a weekend of skiing, fifty years in a bunker? Learn more or less or absolutely nothing in this weeks episode. Enjoy! Hambone! 

Episode 301 - It's Not A Pet It's A Prisoner

por Travis Swartz

Mousetraps, matching socks, ferrets, rats, forked tongues and a rousing conversation about the difference between pets and an animal prisoners....  Listen with your dog! Enjoy!